Travel Journal Entry 7

April 12, 2022

Again I am writing to you in retrospect. I drove the past two work weekends. I find it difficult and selfishly unwise to drive and type at the same time. That, along with the distances between gigs, time taken up before and after the gigs dealing with equipment, and the allotted five hours of hotel time to sleep and bathe didn’t leave much time for journaling. 

Pretty normal work related stuff happened. I was fortunate to be in my hometown area a few days and I got to visit with family and good friends. That was especially nice, albeit short-lived. Seems like I have nothing but time when I feel alone but then get overwhelmingly busy when I get time to spend with those who make me feel not alone. I suppose that is adulting. Adulting sucks.

That’s it. That is all I got to share. I had plenty of things on my mind throughout the trip but nothing to say because I am so tired of hearing myself whine. Most of the past two weeks has been overshadowed by self-loathing, self-doubt, and an extraordinary lack of self-confidence. I had numerous happy and enjoyable moments but then I would be left ultimately with my thoughts and the grey skies would return and the emotions would turn dark and cold like the wind just before a big storm. Oh well. It happens. I just count blessings, focus on the moments that feel real and normal, and I hope I can be mentally and emotionally stable for more than twenty or thirty minutes at a time.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope that you have a wonderfully fabulous week and that you find happiness, even if in small bits, everyday.